cake and chocolate

...should officially be labeled a drug. i truly believe one can be addicted to the sugary, sweet, goodness of cake and chocolate!! so i just finished a piece of golden cake with chocolate butter cream frosting, and man, i loved every morcel... but my thighs sure don't! and now that my stomach is settled, it's a bit sour as well. everyone has a cheat day... except me... i admit, i had an entire cheat WEEK! back on a regiment tomorrow... i've got to say it positively, because if i go into it thinking that being on a schedule is negative, i will not follow through.

i find that portioning food on smaller plates and using smaller utensils, actually works. it's a visual thing, honestly. if you are handed a regular sized plate stacked with food, your brain automatically thinks "EAT", therefore you would eat, at least, most of what is in front of you. if you are handed a smaller plate filled with the correct portion, your brain will think "EAT", BUT the kicker is... once the smaller plate of food has been digested, your brain tells you that your stomach is "FULL". for someone who has struggled with binge eating, this is a very helpful tool. normally i look at a large sized plate stacked with food as "EAT" and shovel, shovel, shovel every last bit into my mouth. okay, often enough, my "EAT" is actually"DEVOUR" until stomach explodes and i look like i'm 19 months pregnant! but NO MORE! my eating habits will not change over night, and it has been hard, but i REFUSE to continue losing this battle. i am #1, i am going to own my problems, and over come them. i am sick of being UNHEALTHY! i have kept my food binging a secret since i was a teen, and i am done. it is too tiring and so not worth pretending i am something i'm not. i'm fat. 

another useful tool in keeping track of how well i'm eating, or how many "cheat weeks" i've binged through, is writing down every last crumb and every last droplet of beverage i put in to my mouth! tomorrow is a new day.