cake and chocolate

...should officially be labeled a drug. i truly believe one can be addicted to the sugary, sweet, goodness of cake and chocolate!! so i just finished a piece of golden cake with chocolate butter cream frosting, and man, i loved every morcel... but my thighs sure don't! and now that my stomach is settled, it's a bit sour as well. everyone has a cheat day... except me... i admit, i had an entire cheat WEEK! back on a regiment tomorrow... i've got to say it positively, because if i go into it thinking that being on a schedule is negative, i will not follow through.

i find that portioning food on smaller plates and using smaller utensils, actually works. it's a visual thing, honestly. if you are handed a regular sized plate stacked with food, your brain automatically thinks "EAT", therefore you would eat, at least, most of what is in front of you. if you are handed a smaller plate filled with the correct portion, your brain will think "EAT", BUT the kicker is... once the smaller plate of food has been digested, your brain tells you that your stomach is "FULL". for someone who has struggled with binge eating, this is a very helpful tool. normally i look at a large sized plate stacked with food as "EAT" and shovel, shovel, shovel every last bit into my mouth. okay, often enough, my "EAT" is actually"DEVOUR" until stomach explodes and i look like i'm 19 months pregnant! but NO MORE! my eating habits will not change over night, and it has been hard, but i REFUSE to continue losing this battle. i am #1, i am going to own my problems, and over come them. i am sick of being UNHEALTHY! i have kept my food binging a secret since i was a teen, and i am done. it is too tiring and so not worth pretending i am something i'm not. i'm fat. 

another useful tool in keeping track of how well i'm eating, or how many "cheat weeks" i've binged through, is writing down every last crumb and every last droplet of beverage i put in to my mouth! tomorrow is a new day.

oh, lovely bacon

multi-grain wheat bread, scrambled eggs, and hot coffee... delicious, yes, but nothing compared to sweet, greasy, tongue-watering, thick slices of fried bacon! oh, lovely bacon, how i do miss eating you... i can taste the crispy, juicy, fatty and flavorful juices, flowing over my taste buds and running down my throat. OK, so i've got quite the descriptive imagination, but c'mon!! BACON? only one of the best inventions known to man-kind. i've decided to make this blog sort of a food diary. i have struggled with my weight since being a pre-teen, and my goal, for now, is to lose 15 pounds (thank you Dr. Dietician)! :) I am very set on achieving this weight loss. writing about my favorite foods, instead of devouring them, will be helpful...i think... whether 1 person, or 100 people, or none read my blog, at least i will be able to look back at this journey. so, here we go...

butt-dialing

know that your ass will be getting  a semi-ghetto, nasty-ass, vulgar text if you respond to me, responding to you, indecently. YOU butt-dialed ME, so don't cop an attitude. this lil chica right hur don't back down to ANYONE. that is all :)

P.S. ~ if this person had never called me, this text would've been my final response;

 first of all, you need hooked on phonics, because you don't know how to spell. second of all, i aint nobody's bitch, and third, the person you were really trying to contact doesn't deserve the piece of shit, low-life, dumb-ass, jerk that you are. no wonder they aren't trying to get ahold of you!! ...it turns out, this "Steve" was one of my friend's exes. hence the word "EX". him and i are cool, but he never goes by his first name, he goes by his nickname (which is what threw me off). he apologized for texting me when he realized it was ME. yeah...